Ramble On Sports

Where sports, pop culture and everything else collide.

Tiger’s not so different after all

Posted by Bill Koch on November 30, 2009

Turns out Tiger Woods is just like the rest of us. Not even he can avoid a certain domestic meltdown when his name comes up in casual conversation linked to another woman who is not his wife or girlfriend.

Guys, you all know where I’m going with this. Ladies, you can follow along too. We all know that you cringe at even the mention of an ex-girlfriend. We expect the subsequent crying, picking of fights and snapping at us, and we’re fully aware that we’re going to have to put in some time in the doghouse over the next couple of days making you believe that we still don’t have feelings for her and that you’re the only one for us. This is a simple fact of life, and as much as men complain about it we know that it’s the price we pay simply for being us.

The stakes are a bit different when the man involved is one of the richest, most famous athletes in the world, but the underlying problem remains the same. Tiger has enough money and fame to attract women to him on all seven continents, and it would take an incredibly strong person to sleep well at night with full faith that he was hers alone. When some rag like the National Enquirer breaks a story that Tiger is sleeping around with some New York cocktail hostess while you’re at home taking care of the kids, you’ve got to be able to let it roll off your back and carry on.

Everything changes, however, if you find out the story is true. That’s how we get from inflammatory rumor to former Swedish bikini models tearing down a driveway in a ritzy, gated Florida neighborhood at 2:25 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving, golf club in hand and bodily harm on the mind. My suspicion is that’s what happened last week when Tiger got cornered at home and could do nothing but try to escape from his wife, the ravishing Elin Nordegren.

If the Enquirer is to be believed – not much of a stretch considering what’s happened since they broke this story – Tiger apparently decided to ignore the wedding band on his left ring finger and stray into the wild away from Nordegren. Yes, she’s tall, blonde and gorgeous. That’s all well and good. Show me the world’s most beautiful woman, and I’ll lead you to some guy, somewhere, who got tired of sleeping with her at some point. I’ll quote Fabulous (for the only time in my life, I promise) when I say that the entrée ain’t as good without something on the side. Too many guys believe this and ruin it for the rest of us who are actually honest and true. Perception becomes reality.

In this case, Tiger must have had enough of Nordegren if he made the decision to step into the world of Rachel Uchitel, right? After all, his wife has had two kids in the last three years – that doesn’t help very much in the romance department. Think Tiger liked keeping his G4 in some airplane hangar and staying at Isleworth to play Daddy Daycare? Hell no. He’s been all over the world since his first child, daughter Sam Alexis Woods, was born in 2007 – China, Australia, England, Scotland, etc. – and I doubt that his solo travel plans thrilled his wife very much even when she had no reason to believe that she was the only woman in his life. The ante is quickly upped when that belief is shattered, and you end up with the kind of story that is slowly leaking out.

Tiger’s not talking right now, and he never has to. There’s nothing criminal about any of this unless he’s the one who decides to press the charges. He wasn’t driving under the influence or recklessly, there were no other vehicles involved, he didn’t leave the scene of the accident, he wasn’t on his phone, he wasn’t texting, he wasn’t updating his twitter account – you get the idea. He was rolling down his driveway trying to get away from a woman scorned who was wielding a 9-iron and swinging about as hard at that Cadillac Escalade’s back windows as Tiger does on the 18th tee at Augusta. Damn right I would have looked back to see if she was gaining on me – and probably would have hit the same tree and fire hydrant while my attention was diverted. The cover story about her breaking him out of what amounts to a barely-damaged, four-wheel tank is almost as funny as it I sad. They couldn’t have come up with something better than that?

I hope Tiger’s lying skills are a little more polished when he finally has his day in court. The judge, jury and executioner will consist of one person. You can all guess who it is. Nothing we can say or write about the world’s greatest golfer will hurt him as badly as what’s about to happen to him again behind closed doors. Maybe Tiger isn’t as much like the rest of us as I thought when I started writing this – his time out in the cold is going to last for a lot longer, and it’s going to be a lot more expensive.

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2 Responses to “Tiger’s not so different after all”

  1. […] the Wall Street thieves who were set to make up the rest of his foursome? It’s not like Furyk was pulling a Tiger Woods and chasing Holly Sampson around all hopped up on Ambien and […]

  2. […] not shocked. We’ve told you before that we expect nothing less out of people who have the world in the palms of their hands. This time, […]

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