Ramble On Sports

Where sports, pop culture and everything else collide.

A guilty pleasure

Posted by bdowd625 on December 10, 2009

There’s a reason why the banner at the top of this blog reads, “Where sports, pop culture and everything else collide.” Every now and then, certain things from outside the sports world will catch my eye and I feel obligated to write about them. This is one of those times.

I’ve got to be honest with you, I don’t watch MTV very often. Occasionally, I’ll land on the channel just to see what kind of train wreck programming they’re working with, but even those occurrences are few and far between.

Until now, that is.

MTV’s new reality series “Jersey Shore” is everything and more you could ever want out of a television show. Eight “guidos” and “guidettes” live in a beach house in Seaside Heights N.J. for the summer, as they drink, fight, go tanning and clubbing, hook up with random scumbags and fist pump their way into America’s hearts. Words don’t do this show justice. You really just have to watch to understand. Take my word for it.

For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, here’s a quick rundown of the eight characters and some of the situations they’ve found themselves in through two episodes:

Mike: Arguably the most insecure/arrogant person you will ever see or meet. This guy has a self-proclaimed “body like Rambo” and often calls himself “The Situation.” I’m still not sure what that nickname refers to because he uses it so frequently. In two episodes, he’s referred to his abs, his innate ability to spit game and his skills as a T-Shirt salesman all as The Situation. I’m disgusted just writing about it and yet slightly intrigued at the same time.

Ronnie: Don’t mess with this guy. Ronnie looks like a bodybuilder, so naturally all the girls on the show will be fawning over him. He’s also the inventor of Ron-Ron juice, a concoction of mixed fruits that gets him in the mood to fist pump and dance all night at the club. There may or may not be alcohol in there.

Pauly D.: Ah, yes – DJ Pauly DelVecchio. This clown is actually from Rhode Island, which embarrasses me to no end. He’s a DJ, so he’s got that going for him, which is nice. Pauly D. features more tattoos than Miami Ink and more hair gel than Paul Mitchell’s house. He’s not as over-the-top as some of the other cast members, but he still finds a way to piss me off. And oh yeah, his signature quote so far? “It only takes nine pounds of pressure to break someone’s nose.” Right on, brother.

Vinny: Probably the least annoying of all the characters, although he might have some kind of glandular issue. This kid was sweating more than a hot donkey during his first interview on screen. Other than that, he’s been flying under the radar. Until he got pink eye, of course. That was awesome.

J-Woww: There are so many things I want to do to this girl, the first being to run her over with a snowplow. Fake, divisive and ugly are just a few of the ways I’d describe her. She’s been all over Pauly D. in the early going, probably because he’s so damn good at spinnin’ the hits on his turntables. Her top moment so far would have to be when she got drunk at the bar then decided to go home and eat an entire container of ham. Now that’s hot.

Angelina: This girl is straight-up bitchy. She thinks she’s hot for some reason, but, as The Situation put it so eloquently, “Drop five or ten pounds and then we’ll talk.” Angelina likes to think she’s a prude, but no one’s buying her little good girl act. She also likes to put the kibosh on all her male roommates’ sexual endeavors. I’m getting angry just thinking about her.

Sammi Sweeheart: The only girl in the show with any real potential. Sammi’s got the looks, but also has that thick Jersey accent that can become an instant turnoff. After two episodes, she’s already had minor flings with The Situation and Ronnie, but seems to have chosen the bodybuilder as her new beau. Either way, this girl is going to be downright manipulative this season. You can see it in her eyes.

Snookie: And last but not least we have Snookie. This midget of a girl showed up at the house on the first day, got smashed almost instantly and ended up puking/alienating all her new roommates within six hours. Now that’s impressive stuff right there. Snookie contemplated leaving after only a day in the new house, but Sammi unfortunately got her to stick around. Personally, I could have done with out the overly-tanned little elf for the rest of the season.

So that’s the breakdown of the characters and some early plotlines. There has already been a lot of outcry in the past week from people saying the show is being too stereotypical of Italian-Americans and so on and so forth. Numerous advertisers are considering pulling their sponsorships. Personally, I think everyone needs to just calm down and go with the flow. This show better not get taken off the air because the comedic value is through the roof. And if it does get canceled, I won’t have any reason to fist pump on Thursday nights anymore.

Tune in tonight at 10 p.m. to see Snookie get punched in the face by some guy at a bar. Good times.

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7 Responses to “A guilty pleasure”

  1. Brittney said

    Bren. I have been wanting to visit your blog but because you talk about sports, I just haven’t actually visited. Your tag line on facebook got me when you hinted that this blog article wasn’t going to be about sports. So i accepted and ventured in. THANK GOD I DID!

    I’ve been working in Sweden for the last month and have only been able to read about Jersey Shore on facebook newsfeeds and the info I get from Bri. This article provided me with so much good information to take in for when I prepare myself on my flight home tomorrow to watch the show (which my roomie DVRd) while unpacking (before I get to see Kim on Saturday– jealous?!)

    So, thank you. I appreciate your non-sports blogs. So far, you’ve got my vote. 🙂

  2. Big Bri said

    Hahaha. A guilty pleasure indeed Brendan. “The Situation” clearly makes this show.

  3. bdowd625 said

    Thanks for the support guys! Keep reading.

  4. Sarah said

    B-Ren, thanks for making me laugh at my desk at work. Bravo on the blog, its super witty! Miss you and your lovely girlfriend!

  5. Hobbs said

    LOL… I’m glad I don’t watch this show, but I have to say this was a great run down of the two hour episode! Reality TV apparently just keeps getting worse…. and of course they chose N.J. for it!

  6. Jeff Evans said

    Did you catch the after show or whatever they called it? The Situation’s hilarious, and I think he’s caught on that this show has turned into quite the joke nationally. Sammi and the “sexy” Angelina… not so much.

  7. Danny Noonan said

    Bren, I have to say this is going to be a must watch for me. Considering there hasn’t been one thing on MTV worth watching in the past 10 years, when I heard Opie and Anthony destroying this show I was surprise MTV was still on the air. I caught about 1/4 of the first night. I can’t wait to watch the train wreck that is ensured. Enjoy!

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