Ramble On Sports

Where sports, pop culture and everything else collide.

Pats vs. Panthers – Who ya got?

Posted by bdowd625 on December 12, 2009

Now that I’ve gotten the Jersey Shore post out of my system, it’s time to delve back into the world of sports and, more specifically, your New England Patriots. The last week has not been kind to the Pats, with questions surrounding Tom Brady’s health, four players showing up late to practice on Wednesday due to inclement weather and Pat Patriot, the team’s raucous mascot, getting caught up in a prostitution ring. Worst week ever? Maybe for anyone not wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey.

So the Pats take on Carolina tomorrow in a game that now carries much more significance than anyone would have imagined at the beginning of the year. That’s what happens when your team starts sucking ass, though. Even the lamest of opponents poses a threat. Luckily the Pats are at home for this one because they’re worse on the road than Tiger Woods. Will Brady play? He’s been listed as questionable for about 95 percent of the games the last five years so my bet is you will see him out there. How he performs is another question altogether. He’s just been way too inconsistent lately.

I know I’ve picked the Pats to win all their games the last few weeks, but this time around I’m convinced we will see them pull out a victory. It’s gut-check time and they’re back at home, so I’ll predict a 31-17 victory over the Panthers and backup quarterback Matt Moore.

Some other predictions:

*  Adalius Thomas, Randy Moss, Gary Guyton and Derrick Burgess will all be sleeping at Gillette Stadium tonight and setting about 15 different alarm clocks for 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.

*  Laurence Maroney will NOT fumble. Yes, you read that correctly.

*  Bill Belichick swallows his pride for a week and lets Stephen Gostkowski actually kick field goals when the Pats get into fourth-down situations in the red zone.

*  Pat Patriot, if he’s allowed anywhere near the stadium, leads the team in tackles. And I’m talking about cheerleaders and whoever else is in the mood to be paid for sex.

*  If the Pats fall behind in this one, it could get ugly quick. It wouldn’t surprise me to see fans throwing crap on the field and the players committing some sort of hate crime on Belichick. Things are quickly spiralling out of control in Foxboro, something I never thought I’d see under this regime.

Enjoy the game everyone and check back here afterwards for some instant analysis.


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