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This is the face of a broken man

Posted by bdowd625 on December 23, 2009

Hey guys hey. I want to start out by saying that I never used to mind Gary Tanguay. Then again, we were never inundated with the guy like we are now. Everywhere you turn, this surly character seems to have his paw prints all over the Boston sports scene. It’s one thing to be dedicated and thorough in your work, but my God, does Tanguay ever take time off?

Here’s a typical day in the guy’s life:

6:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. – Listen to 98.5 The Sports Hub’s Toucher and Rich eviscerate him, while using his audio clips to mockingly interview unsuspecting guests.

9:00 to 10:00 a.m. – Prepare for his midday show with that idiot Scott Zolak on 98.5. Zolak might be the only member of the Boston sports media that’s even more intolerable than Tanguay himself. Oh wait, I forgot about WEEI’s John Dennis, Gerry Callahan, Glenn Ordway, Steve DeOssie and Fred Smerlas. My bad, fellas.

10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. – Talk over Zolak for four hours, while Zolak pretends he knows something about the Red Sox, Bruins and Celtics. Hell, Zolak was a backup quarterback for the Patriots when they were downright awful, so how does he suddenly become knowledgeable enough to talk about all four of the major sports? Listening to him talk all day would wear me out too if I were Tanguay. But I digress.

2:00 to 6:30 p.m. – Prepare for Sports Tonight on Comcast. I think Tanguay might have taken a minute or two off to snort a Pixy Stick and hit the bathroom in there somewhere, but I’m not positive.

6:30 to 7:00 p.m. – Shoot the live edition of Sports Tonight with “fill-in-the-blank idiot” as his co-host.

7:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. – Provide pregame, halftime and postgame coverage for the Celtics game. Donny Marshall talks, while Tanguay tries not to slip into a coma or go postal on everyone on the Comcast set.

12:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. – The robot goes home, plugs himself into a wall to recharge for six hours and repeats the previous routine all over again the next day.

Wow, that took a lot out of me just writing it, so I can only imagine how Tanguay feels living through it each and every day.

I’ll conclude with this. Tanguay is lousy at his job to begin with, but when you’re only on TV every so often your flaws aren’t as magnified. With all Gary Tanguay all day, though, his shortcomings are there for all to see. And I’m starting to get sick of it. Take an extended vacation, pal. And just make sure that moron Zolak goes with you.

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